One Day in Narnia
by Newmoon
Summary: Um... I wrote this for school. Be sure to read the author's note at the beginning, it'll make more sense. Basically, a girl in my class goes to take over Narnia. Very insane. R+R!!


A/N At school we had to write a story where we came to a land of complete chaos, and then solv the problem. This is the story I wrote.  
  
To understand this story at all, you should know these facts: Last year at school, my class put on a Play of "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe". A boy in my class named Josh played Mr. Beaver, and a girl named Lila played the White Witch. You'll understand why I'm telling you these things once you read the fic.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own it, ok?! OK???  
  
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One Day in Narnia...  
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One day, it was raining, and I was terribly, terribly bored. I wandered around the house, pondering the mysteries of Life, the Universe, and Everything. Eventually, through a series of complex movements of the foot, I found myself confronted by my mother's old wardrobe. Reminded of the play I had acted in at school the year before, I opened the door to the wardrobe and stepped inside.  
  
"Strewth!" I cried, closing the door behind me. "Methinks I see a light through the coats! Nay! Not coats! Methinks they are trees!"  
  
And indeed, they were. It brought me to think that it was high time my mother cleaned out her wardrobe, until I noticed that the trees were attached to a forest, and the forest attached to a wintery land. Could it be Narnia was real?  
  
I stepped into the forest and looked around. What I met was a scene of utter and complete chaos. The people and animals of Narnia were running around, wringing their hands, and crying in despair. Believe me, a salamander sinking to his knees and weeping at the pointlessness of it all is a very disconcerting sight!  
  
A beaver ran past me who looked suspiciously like Josh. "Mr. Beaver!" I called to him. "What is going on? What is causing this chaos?"  
  
"Oh! Oh!" cried Mr. Beaver. "Oh! The end of the world is nigh! Prepare for the apocalypse! Now there are TWO of them!!"  
  
"Mr. Beaver!" I exclaimed. "You've gone mad!"  
  
"Yes, I know," he said, and ran away screaming.  
  
I walked through the woods, serenely observing the chaos around me. Finally, I saw a creature in a state of relative calm. A hedgehog stood leaning against a tree, smoking a pipe.  
  
"Mr. Hedgehog?" I asked tentatively. "What is the cause of this chaos?"  
  
"Well, you see, my dear," the hedgehog said, "some old bloke's come along and begun impersonating the White Witch. We don't know which Witch is the REAL Witch." He took a reflective puff on his pipe and added, "Now, my dear, if you will excuse me, i think I will be going insane now." And he did.  
  
I stood rooted to the spot. "What sort of evil fiend would DO such a thing?" I cried, feeling on the verge of insanity myself.  
  
Instantly, I found myself on top of a mountain. Near me was a girl wearing a bent tin crown, freaky face paint, a cheap white and silver robes. She was waving a chopstick around and laughing most evilly. Then I was back in the forest.  
  
"That sort of evil fiend, dearie," twittered a sparrow.  
  
"Lila, how could you??" I cried. For the girl on the mountain side was Lila, the girl who had played the White Witch in last year's play. Obviously, she had gotten ideas of grandeur from the role, and had come to Narnia to conquer it.  
  
"Bad Lila!" I shouted to no one in particular. "Bad, wicked, naughty, EVIL Lila!!"  
  
"Of course, dearie," the sparrow said. "And it's up to you to set things right!" Her voice swelled with pride.  
  
"Um...." I said. "How 'bout I just give you all anti-depressants and tell you to shut up?"  
  
"That won't solve the problem, dearie," said the sparrow in a deflated tone, and flew away. I sighed. It really was up to me, wasn't it?  
  
I traveled the land for many a day, seeking the mountain upon which I had seen Lila in that fleeting instant. Finally, one day, foot-sore and weary, I came to the top of the mountain. And there... was Lila!  
  
"Oh, hello, Maggie," she said. "Care to take over Narnia with me?"  
  
"Actually, I've come to stop you," I informed her.  
  
"You can't stop me!" she cried. "I'm invincible!"  
  
"You're a loony," I corrected.  
  
"Oh, what-EVER!" she said, folding her arms in front of her chest.  
  
"HA!" I cried. "In saying that, you have proved yourself to be nothing more than a fourteen year old girl playing dress up!" I darted forward with a wet sponge (don't ask me where it came from), and wiped the face paint off Lila's face.  
  
"I AM the real White Witch!" Lila shouted. "I AM, I AM , I AM!!!"  
  
"Ah, here's an anti-depressant, now shut up," I said.  
  
And so peace was restored to Narnia.  
THE END!!! 


End file.
